I think I hate this blog.

Okay, not really.

But I do think this blog might be bad for my self-esteem.

My original intent for this blog was to be a place where I could put all of my random ideas and thoughts that I thought were good enough to be placed in public (or semi-public) view. Well, I'm a very scattered person and as such my thoughts careen around in a some-what random fashion. I get really inspired to do something - or be someone - one day and then next it's gone. Which is okay when it's just thought. But once you take that thought and make it "flesh" - or in this case, a blog - then you have a sense of accountability. There are actual people reading my words and, in a small way, holding me to what I said I'd do. Which brings me to this confession:

I can't finish anything.

I can't count how many things I've started and never finished - craft projects, household projects, my education - or how many things I've always said I wanted to do and never even started for fear of not finishing them. And, I've come to realize that all this blog is accomplishing is emphasizing the fact that I haven't finished a darn thing. My podcast? Dead. Blogging every day for the month of November? Dead. Blogging everyday for a year? Soooooo dead. Blogging every day for March? Why do I even keep trying?

It's like a parade of my suckiness. A cavalcade of non-accomplishment. A promenade of procrastination.

Every day mocking me and constantly reminding me of what I have failed to do.

So, what do I do?

I enjoy blogging and having a place for my thoughts to roam free. But at the same time, I hate feeling guilty over the things I've said I'd do and haven't. So, I'm stuck - rock meet hard place. Maybe I should just accept that this is who I am. A person of grand ideas and really poor follow through. All thought and no action. All idealism and no honesty.

Or maybe I should get up off my butt and do something?

Where's the magic 8-ball when I need it?

BAM!

I am not a master chef. I can handle most things that come in a box, pasta, and browning hamburger. Anything more complicated than that and it's a totally different ball game.

Well, last week I was at work and I got a craving for stuffed peppers. I wasn't entirely sure what actually went into a stuffed pepper but at that moment I figured it couldn't be that hard. So, I looked up some recipes and made one up based on two that I found that didn't sound too hard and I was off to the grocery store.

I have to say that I was pretty pleased with the result. There are a few things that I would change for next time around but all in all it turned out well. And they looked awesome! I'm pretty proud of myself. I'm like Emeril! BAM!!

Movies I've never seen

1. Fight Club (well, I've never seen all of it - I tend to fall asleep)
2. Goonies
3. The Jungle Book
4. Schindler's List
5. Fatal Attraction
6. The Godfather (any of them)
7. Pulp Fiction
8. Lord of the Rings (any of them)

Cars I'd like to own

1. Mini cooper


2. Prius


3. New Beetle Convertible


4. Smart Car


5. Del Sol

Cats in my house

1. Benny - the first cat


2. Mimi - the littlest cat


3. Snarf - the new cat

Weird things about me

1. I hate for my food to touch
2. I rub my eyebrows when I'm thinking or when I'm fidgety
3. When I get a bagel from Bread Company I get it bread sliced, then I put cream cheese on each piece to make sure I'll have enough, then I eat it
4. I make up nicknames for everything
5. I make sure the blankets are perfectly straight before I go bed
6. When I get out of the shower I dry my hair first, then work my way down my body so I won't drip and have to re-dry something

I guess that's enough of my neurosis out for everyone to see!

Stuff I know how to do

1. sing
2. crochet
3. cross stitch
4. bake
5. sew (sort of)
6. record and edit audio
7. design a crappy html website
8. drive

I'm sure I know how to do more than eight things, but I just can't think of anything else. But hey! - eight things isn't to bad. :-)